DEAR TIM: What's happening with the vast numbers of painters, plumbers and carpet installers masquerading as "professionals" these days? When they show up hours late, it's a blessing because so many don't bother to show up at all! You're waiting around an entire Saturday (or worse, taking a weekday off work) and they don't even call. Haven't these morons ever heard of a telephone, and don't they realize how they're damaging their reputations? Just how does one find a true professional? Colleen A. Cleveland, OH

DEAR COLLEEN: If it is any comfort whatsoever, you are not alone. I hear from hundreds of frustrated homeowners who are at their wits end. It is my opinion that professional tradespeople are an endangered species. Ask anyone who has more than their fair share of gray hair and they will tell you that finding a professional today is harder than Chinese arithmetic. The trick to success is understanding the dynamics of what is really going on in the marketplace.

Imagine for a moment the residential construction business. It is a profession that requires little, if any, formal education or training to be a player. In the modern world of today you almost always need a focused career-oriented education to get hired and then survive as an accountant, advertising executive, dental hygienist, etc. Put a brush in the hand of a person that can fog a mirror and presto, you have a painter. Even if this person is the best painter in your area, that does not automatically make them a great business person. Therein lies the dilemma.

Add to this the steady stream of phone calls that carpenters, painters, roofers, etc. get day in day out from other homeowners. You are just one of many. So what if the carpet installer, handyman, or window contractor doesn't show up at your place? Many don't care as they might have ten other houses to go to and will more than likely have twenty appointments just over the horizon for next week. Are you starting to get the picture?

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Controlled chaos usually surrounds the average plumber, bricklayer or tile setter. Many of these individuals operate as the craftsperson, the receptionist, the bookkeeper, the delivery person, etc. in their business- often at the same time. Cellular phones have just made the problem worse as they allow the painter, electrician, drywall finisher to multi-task and communicate while doing other things. Very few of these possess mystic powers and have great difficulty being in two places at one time. If there is a problem at some other location when the roofer, concrete mason, or siding installer should be at your home, odds are you will get stood up.

Don't give up hope, though. Just as you need to go deep into the forest to find rare animals, be prepared to do the same to locate professional craftspeople who possess social skills and treat you with respect. To spot a professional, why not go where they go? The first place I would visit is a wholesale supply house that sells the materials the pros use each and every day. For example, look in the Yellow Pages. Bypass the heading "Plumbing Contractors" and proceed to the one that says "Plumbing Fixtures and Supplies". You will discover some well hidden companies that sell hard-to-get plumbing fittings. The same type of businesses exist for electricians, roofers, carpenters, painters, etc.

Visit these businesses mid-morning after the morning rush. Look for an older counter person or ask to speak with the general manager. Tell them you are looking for an individual who has been buying there for 10- 15 years, has a minimum of 20 years experience, and buys nothing but the best material. Ask this same person to name three customers they would solicit bids from if they needed work performed at their own homes.

If you are lucky enough to have a technical school or a high school that offers technical courses in your city, contact the teacher who is in charge of the Building Technology section. Frequently this teacher knows which students were blessed with the most potential. Ask for names of the top three students in the most recent graduating classes. These students are most likely in the work force and you need to get them in your cross hairs. Keep in mind that many of these formal education settings offer classes in business etiquette in an attempt to train the students to be both great craftspeople and superb business leaders.

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